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Don’t give mum chocolates for Mother’s Day. Take on more housework, share the mental load and advocate for equality instead

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/leah-ruppanner-106371">Leah Ruppanner</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p>With Mother’s Day right around the corner, many grateful and loving families are thinking about what to give mum to show their appreciation.</p> <p>Should you give her chocolate? Nope. Fancy soaps? Nope. Fuzzy slippers, pyjamas, scented candles? No, no and no.</p> <p>On this Mother’s Day, keep your cash and give your wonderful mother gifts that will actually have a long-term impact on her health and well-being.</p> <h2>1. Do a chore that mum hates and hold onto it … forever</h2> <p>Research <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13545701.2020.1831039">shows</a> men have increased the amount of time spent on housework and childcare and that mothers, over time, are doing less (hooray!).</p> <p>But, women <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2008.00479.x">still do more housework</a> than men, especially when <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12497?fbclid=IwAR2dp04p2sFqbDqdehXmXgDSfTYwX3GRzP7ScMJhSOrMePTGQVErR2TTX88">kids are in the home</a>.</p> <p>Further, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0891243205285212">men tend to pick up the more desirable tasks</a>, like <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/3598304">cooking and playing with the kids</a>, leaving mothers to do the less pleasurable chores (think cleaning toilets and clearing out fridges).</p> <p>The chore divide in same-sex relationships is generally found to be more equal, but some critique suggests equality may suffer <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/16/upshot/same-sex-couples-divide-chores-much-more-evenly-until-they-become-parents.html">once kids are involved</a>.</p> <p>This year give your mum (or mums) the gift of equal housework and childcare sharing – start by taking the most-hated tasks and then hold onto them… forever.</p> <p><a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12727">Research</a> shows housework inequality is bad for women’s mental health. Undervaluing women’s housework and unequal sharing of the chores deteriorates <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-022-01282-5">relationship quality</a>, and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0038038516674664">leads to divorce</a>.</p> <p>Housework and childcare take up valuable time to keep the family happy, harmonious and thriving, often at the expense of mum’s health and well-being.</p> <p>So, skip the chocolates and show mum love by doing the worst, most drudgerous and constant household chores (hello, cleaning mouldy showers!) and keep doing these… forever.</p> <h2>2. Initiate a mental unload</h2> <p>The <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2017-09-14/the-mental-load-and-what-to-do-about-it/8942032">mental load</a> is all of the planning, organising and management work necessary to keep the family running.</p> <p>The mental load is often perceived as list making or allocating tasks to family members.</p> <p>But, it’s so much more – it is the <a href="https://theconversation.com/planning-stress-and-worry-put-the-mental-load-on-mothers-will-2022-be-the-year-they-share-the-burden-172599">emotional work</a> that goes with this thinking work.</p> <p>The mental load is the worry work that never ends and can be done <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13668803.2021.2002813">anywhere, anytime and with anyone</a> (in, for example, said mouldy shower).</p> <p>Because the mental load is performed inside our heads, it is invisible. That means we don’t know when we or others are performing this labour unless we really tune in.</p> <p>In fact, it is often when we tune in through quiet time, relaxation or meditation that the mental load rears its ugly head. Suddenly you remind yourself to buy oranges for the weekend soccer game, organise a family movie night and don’t forget to check in on nanna.</p> <p>Women in heterosexual relationships are <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0003122419859007">shown to do more</a> of the mental load with serious consequences for their mental health. But we don’t have a comprehensive measurement of how much women do it nor how it is allocated in same-sex couples.</p> <p>So, on this mothers’ day spend some time talking about, cataloguing, and equalising the family’s mental load.</p> <p>This isn’t just making a list about what has to be done but also understanding <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2017-09-14/the-mental-load-and-what-to-do-about-it/8942032">how the mental load</a> connects to the emotional health of the family, and the person carrying this <a href="https://www.newamerica.org/better-life-lab/blog/making-the-mental-load-visible/">invisible labour, worry and stress</a>.</p> <h2>3. Speak up for your mum and all caregivers</h2> <p>Families alone cannot bear the brunt of the caregiving necessary to keep us thriving.</p> <p>Governments, workplaces and local communities also play a critical role. For this mothers’ day, pick an issue impacting mothers (for example, equal pay, affordable childcare or paid family leave) and do one thing to help move the needle.</p> <p>Write a letter to your boss, your local MP, or donate money to an advocacy organisation advancing gender equality.</p> <p>Or, role model these behaviours yourself – normalise caregiving as a critical piece of being an effective worker, create policies and practices that support junior staff to care for themselves, their families and their communities and use these policies.</p> <p><a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0891243216649946">Research</a> shows men want to be equal carers and sharers but often fear what taking time off for caregiving will signal to their employer despite evidence that fathers who request flexible work are perceived more <a href="https://academic.oup.com/sf/article-abstract/94/4/1567/2461609?login=false">favourably</a>.</p> <p>Appearing to be singularly devoted to work was shown to be impossible during the pandemic with kids, spouses, partners, and pets home all day long.</p> <p>Learning to create more care-inclusive workplaces and communities is critical.</p> <p>Paid parental leave, affordable and accessible high-quality childcare, flexibility in how, when and where we work and greater investments in paid sick leave, long-term disability support and aged care are just a few policies that would strengthen the care safety net.</p> <p>We will all be called upon to care at some point in our lives – let’s create the environments that support caregiving for all, not just mum.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/182330/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/leah-ruppanner-106371">Leah Ruppanner</a>, Professor of Sociology and Founding Director of The Future of Work Lab, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/dont-give-mum-chocolates-for-mothers-day-take-on-more-housework-share-the-mental-load-and-advocate-for-equality-instead-182330">original article</a>.</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Would you be happy as a long-term single? The answer may depend on your attachment style

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/christopher-pepping-1524533">Christopher Pepping</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/griffith-university-828">Griffith University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/geoff-macdonald-1527971">Geoff Macdonald</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-toronto-1281">University of Toronto</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/tim-cronin-415060">Tim Cronin</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/la-trobe-university-842">La Trobe University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/yuthika-girme-1494822">Yuthika Girme</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a></em></p> <p>Are all single people insecure? When we think about people who have been single for a long time, we may assume it’s because single people have insecurities that make it difficult for them to find a partner or maintain a relationship.</p> <p>But is this true? Or can long-term single people also be secure and thriving?</p> <p>Our <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jopy.12929">latest research</a> published in the Journal of Personality suggests they can. However, perhaps unsurprisingly, not everybody tends to thrive in singlehood. Our study shows a crucial factor may be a person’s attachment style.</p> <h2>Singlehood is on the rise</h2> <p>Singlehood is on the rise around the world. In Canada, single status among young adults aged 25 to 29 has increased from <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/daily-quotidien/220713/dq220713b-eng.htm">32% in 1981 to 61% in 2021</a>. The number of people <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/daily-quotidien/220713/dq220713a-eng.htm">living solo</a> has increased from 1.7 million people in 1981 to 4.4 million in 2021.</p> <p>People are single for many reasons: <a href="https://www.ucpress.edu/ebook/9780520971004/happy-singlehood">some choose</a> to remain single, some are focusing on <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12147-020-09249-0">personal goals and aspirations</a>, some report <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/nearly-half-of-u-s-adults-say-dating-has-gotten-harder-for-most-people-in-the-last-10-years/">dating has become harder</a>, and some become single again due to a relationship breakdown.</p> <p>People may also remain single due to their attachment style. Attachment theory is a popular and well-researched model of how we form relationships with other people. An <a href="https://www.amazon.com.au/s?k=attachment+theory">Amazon search for attachment theory</a> returns thousands of titles. The hashtag #attachmenttheory has been viewed <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2022/08/20/why-attachment-theory-is-trending-according-to-dr-amir-levine.html">over 140 million times</a> on TikTok alone.</p> <h2>What does attachment theory say about relationships?</h2> <p>Attachment theory suggests our relationships with others are shaped by our degree of “anxiety” and “avoidance”.</p> <p>Attachment anxiety is a type of insecurity that leads people to feel anxious about relationships and worry about abandonment. Attachment avoidance leads people to feel uncomfortable with intimacy and closeness.</p> <p>People who are lower in attachment anxiety and avoidance are considered “securely attached”, and are comfortable depending on others, and giving and receiving intimacy.</p> <p>Single people are often stereotyped as being <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/01461672231203123">too clingy or non-committal</a>. Research comparing single and coupled people also suggests single people have <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2012.00793.x?casa_token=6iiCm5PjHgkAAAAA:0kBeofx3M-72YrkVppmNxdWBIAImFwm3lAakCnuiNXL20SVP1zaW7UeDIahW_43imAjSRXgtyN0hLVI">higher levels of attachment insecurities</a> compared to people in relationships.</p> <p>At the same time, evidence suggests many single people are choosing to remain single and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/17456916221136119">living happy lives</a>.</p> <h2>Single people represent a diverse group of secure and insecure people</h2> <p>In our latest research, our team of social and clinical psychologists examined single people’s attachment styles and how they related to their happiness and wellbeing.</p> <p>We carried out two studies, one of 482 younger single people and the other of 400 older long-term singles. We found overall 78% were categorised as insecure, with the other 22% being secure.</p> <p>Looking at our results more closely, we found four distinct subgroups of singles:</p> <ul> <li> <p>secure singles are relatively comfortable with intimacy and closeness in relationships (22%)</p> </li> <li> <p>anxious singles question whether they are loved by others and worry about being rejected (37%)</p> </li> <li> <p>avoidant singles are uncomfortable getting close to others and prioritise their independence (23% of younger singles and 11% of older long-term singles)</p> </li> <li> <p>fearful singles have heightened anxiety about abandonment, but are simultaneously uncomfortable with intimacy and closeness (16% of younger singles and 28% of older long-term singles).</p> </li> </ul> <h2>Insecure singles find singlehood challenging, but secure singles are thriving</h2> <p>Our findings also revealed these distinct subgroups of singles have distinct experiences and outcomes.</p> <p>Secure singles are happy being single, have a greater number of non-romantic relationships, and better relationships with family and friends. They meet their sexual needs outside romantic relationships and feel happier with their life overall. Interestingly, this group maintains moderate interest in being in a romantic relationship in the future.</p> <p>Anxious singles tend to be the most worried about being single, have lower self-esteem, feel less supported by close others and have some of the lowest levels of life satisfaction across all sub-groups.</p> <p>Avoidant singles show the least interest in being in a romantic relationship and in many ways appear satisfied with singlehood. However, they also have fewer friends and close relationships, and are generally less satisfied with these relationships than secure singles. Avoidant singles also report less meaning in life and tend to be less happy compared to secure singles.</p> <p>Fearful singles reported more difficulties navigating close relationships than secure singles. For instance, they were less able to regulate their emotions, and were less satisfied with the quality of their close relationships relative to secure singles. They also reported some of the lowest levels of life satisfaction across all sub-groups.</p> <h2>It’s not all doom and gloom</h2> <p>These findings should be considered alongside several relevant points. First, although most singles in our samples were insecure (78%), a sizeable number were secure and thriving (22%).</p> <p>Further, simply being in a romantic relationship is not a panacea. Being in an unhappy relationship is linked to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316">poorer life outcomes</a> than being single.</p> <p>It is also important to remember that attachment orientations are not necessarily fixed. They are open to <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352250X18300113">change</a> in response to life events.</p> <p>Similarly, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0963721413510933">sensitive and responsive behaviours</a> from close others and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075231162390">feeling loved and cared about</a> by close others can soothe underlying attachment concerns and foster attachment security over time.</p> <p>Our studies are some of the first to examine the diversity in attachment styles among single adults. Our findings highlight that many single people are secure and thriving, but also that more work can be done to help insecure single people feel more secure in order to foster happiness.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/227595/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/christopher-pepping-1524533">Christopher Pepping</a>, Associate Professor in Clinical Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/griffith-university-828">Griffith University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/geoff-macdonald-1527971">Geoff Macdonald</a>, Professor of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-toronto-1281">University of Toronto</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/tim-cronin-415060">Tim Cronin</a>, Lecturer in Clinical Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/la-trobe-university-842">La Trobe University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/yuthika-girme-1494822">Yuthika Girme</a>, Associate Professor, Department of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/would-you-be-happy-as-a-long-term-single-the-answer-may-depend-on-your-attachment-style-227595">original article</a>.</em></p>

Relationships

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Nicole Kidman's daughters help celebrate mum's historic first

<p>Nicole Kidman taken to the red carpet with her family in tow for a rare appearance, as Nicole accepted a lifetime achievement award. </p> <p>The Aussie actress was joined by her husband Keith Urban and their two daughters, Sunday, 15, and Faith, 13, who were all dressed to the nines for the occasion.</p> <p>Nicole was also surrounded by her sister Antonia Kidman, brother-in-law Craig Marran and their family for the glitzy event. </p> <p>The 56-year-old actress has now become the first Australian to win the American Film Institute Lifetime Achievement Award, with the award often being dubbed the highest honour in American cinema. </p> <p>The accolade has also been won by the likes of Julie Andrews, Al Pacino, Denzel Washington, George Clooney, Meryl Streep Morgan Freeman and many other iconic figures in the industry. </p> <p>The Academy Award winner who grew up in Sydney said on social media she was "deeply moved" to receive such a prestigious award. </p> <p>"Thank you to all of you and to the American Film institute for including me in this illustrious group of honorees — now let's have some fun!" she wrote on Instagram. </p> <p>When announcing Kidman as the recipient of the award, AFI released a statement saying, "Both a powerhouse performer, spellbinding movie star and accomplished producer, Nicole Kidman has captured the imaginations of audiences throughout her prolific career, delivering complex and versatile performances on-screen."</p> <p>"She is a force both brave in her choices and bold in each performance. AFI is honoured to present her with the 49th AFI Life Achievement Award."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

Family & Pets

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How to look after your mental health while packing up Mum or Dad’s home

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/erika-penney-1416241">Erika Penney</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-technology-sydney-936">University of Technology Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alice-norton-1516505">Alice Norton</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/avalon-tissue-1515840">Avalon Tissue</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p>So Mum or Dad has died, or moved to aged care, and now you’ve got to pack up their house. It’s a huge job and you’re dreading it.</p> <p>It’s normal to feel grief, loss, guilt, exhaustion or even resentment at being left with this job.</p> <p>So how can you look after your mental health while tackling the task?</p> <h2>It’s OK to feel a lot of feelings</h2> <p>Research has documented how this task can exert an intense <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15267431.2021.1943399">physical and emotional toll</a>.</p> <p>This can be more intense for those who had strained – or even <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/epub/10.1177/0030222819868107">traumatic</a> – relationships with the person whose house they’re packing up.</p> <p>Decisions around distributing or discarding items can, in some families, bring up painful reminders of the past or end up <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1074840711428451">replaying strained dynamics</a>.</p> <p>Family members who were carers for the deceased may feel exhaustion, overwhelm, <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/hec.1512?sid=vendor%3Adatabase">burnout</a> or a sense of injustice they must now continue to be responsible for their loved one’s affairs. Grief can be compounded by the practical challenges of deciding how to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/0148-2963(94)00054-I">store or discard belongings</a>, <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/30000385">arrange the funeral</a>, execute the will, deal with the aged care place or, in some cases, navigate legal disputes.</p> <p>But packing up the house may also be cathartic or helpful. <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15267431.2021.1943399">Research</a> has shown how the task of cleaning out a loved one’s belongings can provide an opportunity for family and friends to talk, share memories, and make sense of what has just happened.</p> <p>It’s also normal to grieve before someone dies. What psychologists call “<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29206700/">anticipatory</a> grief” can happen to <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1615888/">relatives packing up the house</a> of a parent who has moved to aged care or palliative care.</p> <h2>What to do with all this stuff?</h2> <p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/0148-2963(94)00054-I">Some</a> treat their loved one’s items with sanctity, holding onto as many of their belongings as possible and creating “shrines” in their honour.</p> <p>Others alleviate the weight of grief by clearing out a loved one’s house as soon as possible, giving away, selling or discarding as much as they can.</p> <p>But if you experience a mix of these – enthusiastically getting rid of some stuff, while desperately wanting to hold onto other things – that’s OK too.</p> <p>One <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10253866.2017.1367677">study</a> identified a process punctuated by four key periods:</p> <ol> <li> <p>numbness and overwhelm at the task of packing the house</p> </li> <li> <p>yearning to maintain a link to the loved through their belongings</p> </li> <li> <p>working through grief, anger and guilt regarding the loved one and the task of managing their belongings, and</p> </li> <li> <p>healing and making sense of the relationship with the deceased and their belongings.</p> </li> </ol> <p>However, it is important to note everyone’s approach is different and there is no “right” way to do the clean out, or “right” way to feel.</p> <h2>Caring for your mental health during the clean out</h2> <p>To care for your mental health during these difficult times, you might try to:</p> <ul> <li> <p>make space for your feelings, whether it’s sadness, loss, resentment, anger, relief or all the above. There is no right or wrong way to feel. <a href="https://guilfordjournals.com/doi/abs/10.1521/jscp.2011.30.2.163">Accepting</a> your emotions is healthier than suppressing them</p> </li> <li> <p>share the load. <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1046/j.1365-2648.1999.01220.x">Research</a> has shown practical support from close friends and family can help a lot with grief. Accept help with packing, planning, dealing with removalists, selling or donating items and cleaning. Don’t be afraid to reduce your mental load by delegating tasks to friends, who are likely wondering how they can help</p> </li> <li> <p>take a systematic approach. Break tasks into their smallest component. For example, aim to clean out a drawer instead of an entire bedroom. This can help the mental and physical task feel more manageable</p> </li> <li> <p>reflect on what’s meaningful to you. Some belongings will have <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/0148-2963(94)00054-I">meaning</a>, while others will not. What was valuable to the deceased may not be valuable to you. Things they probably saw as pretty worthless (a handwritten shopping list, an old sewing kit) may be very meaningful to you. Ask yourself whether retaining a small number of meaningful possessions would allow you to maintain a connection with your loved one, or if clearing out the space and discarding the items is what you need</p> </li> <li> <p>share your story. When you feel ready, share your “<a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15267431.2021.1943399">cleaning out the closet</a>” story with trusted friends and family. Storytelling allows the deceased to live on in memory. <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1046/j.1365-2648.1999.01220.x">Research</a> also suggests we cope better with bereavement when friends and relatives make time to hear our feelings</p> </li> <li> <p>remember that professional help is available. Just as a solicitor can help with legal disputes, a mental health professional can help you process your feelings.</p> </li> </ul> <p>The home of your loved one is not merely a place where they lived, but a space filled with meaning and stories.</p> <p>Packing up the house of a loved one can be incredibly daunting and challenging, but it can also be an important part of your grieving process.</p> <p><em>If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.</em><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223956/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/erika-penney-1416241">E<em>rika Penney</em></a><em>, Lecturer in Clinical Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-technology-sydney-936">University of Technology Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alice-norton-1516505">Alice Norton</a>, Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/avalon-tissue-1515840">Avalon Tissue</a>, Associate Lecturer in Clinical Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-look-after-your-mental-health-while-packing-up-mum-or-dads-home-223956">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

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"I almost cried": Mum shocked by stranger's random act of kindness

<p>A mother-of-two has almost been reduced to tears by a stranger's random act of kindness in a busy cafe. </p> <p>The mum, a woman named Tyne, was at a cafe in the Sunshine Coast suburb of Mooloolaba with her husband and two young sons, when she struck up a conversation with a woman reading a book nearby. </p> <p>She said she felt a wave of guilt that her rowdy children were disrupting the woman's peaceful morning, and leaned over to apologise. </p> <p>The woman assured the mother there was nothing to apologise for, with the woman's next act leaving the mum speechless. </p> <p>“A beautiful (and full on) weekend away with Mr 3.5y &amp; Mr 1.5y my husband and I sat with coffees at a beautiful cafe waiting for breakfast for us,” Tyne wrote in a Facebook group called The Kindness Pandemic, where people share stories of their heartwarming interactions with strangers. </p> <p>“I immediately apologised to the lovely lady sitting near us as she had a book and I was afraid the boys wouldn’t be too peaceful." </p> <p>“We were chatting for a little and then she left after her breakfast.”</p> <p>When the mum went to pay for her family’s bill, the cashier informed her that the stranger had “taken care of it” and handed her a heartwarming note.</p> <p>“It was such a pleasure sharing my brekkie space with you,” the note read.</p> <p>“Please keep doing what you’re doing. You’ve got a beautiful family.”</p> <p>Tyne said she “almost cried” when she realised that the stranger had paid for her family’s entire breakfast.</p> <p>The cafe was situated close to one of the Sunshine Coast’s most popular attractions, Sea Life Aquarium, where the family had planned to spend their day.</p> <p>“Hopefully you can splurge a little more at Sea Life today,” the stranger added in the note, before signing off, “Love Em.”</p> <p>The mum said she was overwhelmed by the stranger’s incredible act of kindness, saying she "almost cried".</p> <p>“She paid for us … And her kind words were what I needed to hear.”</p> <p>Tyne said the stranger was an “amazing soul” and vowed to pay it forward”.</p> <p>“If you are Em staying in Mooloolaba for work and went to a quirky local that’s your favourite … YOU ARE AN AMAZING SOUL!” she said.</p> <p>People in the comments also shared their reactions to the heartfelt gesture.</p> <p>“Lovely lady. Your children would be being just that, children. Don’t apologise about them,” one wrote.</p> <p>“What a beautiful person Em clearly is. This was so gorgeous to read.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Facebook</em></p>

Family & Pets

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“It’s not personal”: New mum shares divisive list of rules

<p dir="ltr">An expecting mum has divided opinions with an extensive list of strict rules her family and friends must follow if they want to meet her new baby. </p> <p dir="ltr">KIIS FM hosts Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O read out the list live on air, as they debated the rules and regulations put in place by the pregnant woman. </p> <p dir="ltr">The rules included not touching the baby, being vaccinated and only going to see the child if you've been asked, with the hosts asking listeners if they thought the rules were “too strict” or “reasonable”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“We're drawing closer to the birth of our daughter, and we couldn't be more excited, but unfortunately we have to implement some boundaries. We hope you can respect our wishes and no one takes these personally,” the mum's announcement read.</p> <p dir="ltr">First, the mum declared that there will be no information about the baby put online, including photos and information of the child’s name, or even an announcement that she had given birth. </p> <p dir="ltr">“If we want you to know, you'll know,” the mum outlined. </p> <p dir="ltr">Next, she said that only those who have “checked in” with the expecting parents since the announcement of the pregnancy will be notified of the birth. </p> <p dir="ltr">The mum took a brutal swing at anyone else she hasn't heard from and wrote, “Otherwise we have taken your silence as not being interested in our friendship and it is also reciprocated.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The couple went on to add that for the first two weeks following the birth, they will not be having any visitors. </p> <p dir="ltr">“No exceptions, no texts, no calls,” the mum wrote in capital letters, further explaining that no visitors will be welcome at either the hospital or at home. </p> <p dir="ltr">The couple also expect those who want to meet the baby to be vaccinated. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Don't be offended if we ask for proof. We will not be putting her health at risk,” the point read. </p> <p dir="ltr">The mum also asked visitors to “not smell of cigarettes or wear cologne or perfume that is too strong when meeting the baby”. </p> <p dir="ltr">Lastly, if family or friends visit the couple at home they will need to bring their own snacks and drinks.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Please do not expect to be hosted. Mum will probably be tired,” the list read. </p> <p dir="ltr">After sharing a video on TikTok, some mentioned the number one parenting rule of all: “their baby, their rules”. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Not a single one of those rules is unreasonable,” one person commented online. </p> <p dir="ltr">“The people triggered over this are the type of people these boundaries are intended for,” another added. </p> <p dir="ltr">However, others deemed the list as “passive aggressive”.  </p> <p dir="ltr">“Yeah right, nice knowing ya,” one wrote, while another said, “I hope she knows what she's doing.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Mum's list of chores for babysitter divides internet

<p>An American mum and schoolteacher has divided social media after she shared a list of chores that her 17-year-old babysitter could do for extra cash. </p> <p>Katrina Ivan hired a former student, who is now a senior in high school, to babysit her two-year-old son.</p> <p>The busy mum, who had been struggling to maintain her home, left an optional list of chores the babysitter could do for some extra cash. </p> <p>“You are more than welcome to hang out and watch TV but if you want to earn some extra cash these are up for grabs,” the note read.</p> <p>She claimed that her son was already asleep when the babysitter arrived at 7:30pm and she would be looking after him until 11:30pm.</p> <p>The babysitter was being paid $115.45 for the four hours of work.</p> <p>The extra chores included organising the kitchen island, which would earn the student $15, as would cleaning the windows and mirrors in the house and sweeping and mopping the kitchen floor.</p> <p>Cleaning out the fridge would earn the her $23, while vacuuming the couch would earn her $4.</p> <p>A few other optional chores included re-organising the toys, organising the kitchen island, and re-organising the silverware, which were all chores that would earn the student $15. </p> <p>The babysitter earned an extra $92 for the chores she chose, and a few social media users have said that this was a great idea. </p> <p> “I wish they did this when I was a babysitter. Would have loved the opportunity to earn extra," one wrote.</p> <p>“This is a great idea!! Sometimes it’s boring to just to sit and watch TV, this makes time go by quicker and sometimes it’s things I would do to help," another said. </p> <p>“I think since it’s optional or not you can give whatever amounts. It’s still the babysitters choice whether to do it or not,” a third added. </p> <p>However a few others weren't as impressed. </p> <p>“Those are 1990 prices,” one social media user wrote. </p> <p>“$23 for the fridge that’s wild," another added. </p> <p>“I think if you mention it ahead of time ‘oh I left a chore list if you’re interested in any of them it’s extra cash for you!’ Because if I just arrived to this note I might be a little uncomfortable,” a third said. </p> <p><em>Images: TikTok</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Mum slammed for being "stingy" after refusing to buy $2 snack for daughter's playdate

<p>A mum has come under fire for being "selfish" and "stingy" after refusing to buy a $2 snack for her 11-year-old daughter’s best friend.</p> <p>The woman, believed to be from the US, and her daughter Ellie were invited for a playdate at an indoor playground with 12-year-old Sophie and her mum.</p> <p>Sophie's mum offered to put them on her membership card so that Ellie and her mum could go to the indoor playground for free. </p> <p>“Sophie’s mum called me... and Sophie wanted to know if Ellie could come and play," she began in a Reddit thread called <em>Am I the a****** .</em></p> <p>"She offered to put me on her membership card so it would be free for me so I got Ellie in the car and we met them at the playground.” </p> <p>Trouble started when the girls got hungry after an hour of playing, and Ellie's mum only packed a snack for her daughter. </p> <p>“Sophie’s mum didn’t have any snacks on her,” she said.</p> <p>“I told her they sell snacks in the front but she claimed that she didn’t have any money on her and asked me to buy Sophie some Goldfish."</p> <p>Ellie's mum agreed to grab the crackers on one condition - Sophie's mum had to transfer the money to her. </p> <p>“She says she paid for my kid to get in so I could cover the $2 for the Goldfish. I said no, I took care of my kid and it’s not my job to take care of hers too.</p> <p>“I told her if she wanted me to bring snacks she should’ve told me when she invited me but I won’t be wasting $2 for a 50 cent bag of Goldfish because she was unprepared.”</p> <p>She added that Sophie's mum eventually managed to get snacks for her own daughter, and wondered "if she lied about not having money".</p> <p>She then accused Sophie's mum of being "petty" for asking her to pay back for “all the times” she's used her membership to get a guest pass at the indoor playground, adding that "they regularly pay for us to join them on outings.”</p> <p>Her post was met with over 2500 comments slamming her for being “selfish”, “stingy” and “ungrateful”.</p> <p>“You were invited to a place for free that you would otherwise have had to pay for. You only packed snacks for your child? Why didn’t you also take snacks for the other child?" one wrote. </p> <p>“Yes, you did not have to do so, and that child is not your responsibility, but if I was meeting someone for a playdate for my child, not paying to get in, knowing, at some point both girls were going to be hungry, I would have packed snacks for both, as a thank you for the invitation and just because," the commenter continued. </p> <p>“If someone asked me to transfer them $2, I’m rolling my eyes big time. It’s petty, especially when someone gave you something likely far more valuable," another added. </p> <p>“Seriously. I don’t even think I could tell a stranger no when it comes to feeding their hungry child, much less a person I know and spend time with," a third commented. </p> <p>Others called the mum a "fool", for potentially causing Ellie to lose her best friend.</p> <p>“Don’t be an idiot. Apologise. You might care about 50 cents. But your daughter will lose her best friend. And that is worth a lot more. Your daughter might never get a friend like that... And the fact that universe gift wrapped a friend for your daughter. And you choose to throw it in the trash. Wow, you are truly a fool," they said. </p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p>

Family & Pets

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“If you’re reading this, it means I have passed away”: Young mum announces own death

<p>Casey McIntyre, 38, has announced her own death in a heartbreaking post shared on Instagram. </p> <p>The mother-of-one from New York, passed away after a battle with stage four ovarian cancer on November 12. </p> <p>Casey's death was announced on Tuesday via <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CzmnPArO37i/?img_index=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">a post</a> that she had penned before her passing, which was shared by her husband Andrew. </p> <p>The post showed a carousel of images highlighting special moments of Casey's life, including her childhood, their wedding and a few photos with their 18-month old daughter. </p> <p>The statement began: "A note to my friends: if you’re reading this it means I have passed away. I'm so sorry, it's horses*** and we both know it." </p> <p>"The cause was a recurrence of my previously diagnosed stage four ovarian cancer.</p> <p>"I loved each and every one of you with my whole heart and I promise you, I knew how deeply I was loved.</p> <p>"The five months in home hospice that I got to spend with my family and friends in Virginia, Rhode Island, and New York were magical." </p> <p>Tragically, Casey did not have the chance to finish her post, with her husband adding a tribute to his wife in an "editors note" which read: </p> <p>"Casey meant to finish this post with a list of things that were a comfort &amp; a joy to her during her life, and I am heartbroken that I will never see that list.</p> <p>"As she grew sicker, she couldn’t finish it," he explained. </p> <p>"I imagine it would’ve included our daughter Grace, whales, ice cream, her beloved friends, being at the beach, her niece and nephews she incorrigibly doted on, reading 10 books on a weeklong vacation, her beloved parents and sister and their amazing extended family, swimming, a perfect roast beef sandwich, and me, her sweet, sweet honey.</p> <p>"Oh Casey! I don't know how we will do it without you but we will," he ended the tribute, before asking loved ones to share "a note that was a comfort or joy" that they shared with Casey. </p> <p>He also shared details of Casey's memorial service and revealed his wife's last act of kindness, where she hoped to "celebrate" her life by setting up a <a href="https://ripmedicaldebt.org/campaign/andrewrosegregory-47569/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">fundraiser</a> to help pay off others' medical debt. </p> <p>"We will celebrate her life by anonymously purchasing medical debt and then anonymously forgiving it, hopefully with a bonfire if they will let us," Andrew wrote. </p> <p>As of today, $47,343 out of their $50,000 goal has been raised in honour of Casey. </p> <p>Tributes have poured in from loved ones in the comment section of her post. </p> <p>"Casey, in April 2019 on a phone call, you dreamed such big dreams for a book I didn’t yet believe in. They all came true. Your authors and colleagues were so lucky to have your humour, wit and light," wrote one friend.</p> <p>"You have left a beautiful legacy and you will be deeply missed. All my love to your family and your beautiful baby Grace. ❤️" </p> <p>"Casey you were so funny and sharp and beautiful and that light that shone through your eyes lit up the world," wrote another. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

Caring

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Heavily pregnant mum and disabled child kicked off plane

<p>Siobhan Foster, her husband, and their disabled child were kicked off their flight after she was accused of being "aggressive" by a flight attendant.</p> <p>Foster, who is seven months pregnant, was onboard an easyJet flight to Ibiza to celebrate her brother's wedding.</p> <p>She struggled to find room for her carry-on in the overhead baggage compartment, so she asked a flight attendant to help her find space, but the response was reportedly "a sharp ‘Clearly Not’", which eventually led to a dispute. </p> <p>When things escalated, all 180 passengers were eventually told to disembark. </p> <p>One of Foster's outraged friends posted the <a href="https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/23859832/easyjet-passengers-kicked-off-pregnant-mum-stewardess-fight/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">video</a> on social media, and the Newtonabbey mum was seen collecting hand luggage while struggling to carry her toddler.</p> <p>“We’re being thrown off the plane today because of somebody thinking they’re better than everyone else,” the friend said.</p> <p>The easyJet stewardess responded: “Bye, bye bye," as the upset family walked down the stairs. </p> <p>Foster took to Facebook to complain about her experience with "sleezy jet".</p> <p>“So, I asked could you help me find somewhere, her reply was ‘You’ll need to find somewhere yourself’ even though there literally was nowhere," she wrote. </p> <p>She then claimed that she asked for help again, because she was heavily pregnant, to which the flight attendant allegedly said:  "You’re being abusive and it’s not my job to help you.”</p> <p>Another flight attendant reportedly backed up her co-worker, but Foster argued that other airlines have been more helpful as she is pregnant. </p> <p>“Writing this, I understand it would make you think was I being abusive, but I honestly wasn’t and the whole plane can vouch for me,” Foster wrote. “People were actually putting this on [Facebook] about how bad I was treated.”</p> <p>After eventually finding a place for her bag, the pregnant mum was allegedly confronted by two other crew members who also accused her of being “aggressive.”</p> <p>Foster decided to ignore them because she was "crying" and "so upset," but the flight attendant reportedly started raising her voice. </p> <p>They were then kicked off, and were told it was because of Foster's aggression,  but when Foster’s mum and brother asked for an exact reason, the crew members allegedly couldn't give them a direct response. </p> <p>After an hour, everyone had to disembark and the family were met by eight police officers and two Swissport employees and were told they would not be allowed back on the flight, despite other passengers being allowed back in.</p> <p>“So, that whole day we were in Belfast airport from one lunchtime to nine that night with our child, my legs were so swollen and sore with being on them all this time I was crying uncontrollably that this was happening to us for no reason whatsoever.</p> <p>“I’m so traumatized to the point I don’t know how I’ll ever fly again,” she wrote on Facebook.</p> <p>EasyJet has denied any wrongdoing and a spokesperson told the Daily Mail that "a group of passengers were "behaving disruptively."</p> <p>“EasyJet’s cabin crew and ground agents are trained to assess and evaluate all situations and to act quickly and appropriately to ensure that the safety of the flight and other passengers is not compromised at any time.</p> <p>“The Captain took the decision to ask all passengers on the flight to return to the terminal so the situation could be resolved and as soon as it was they re-boarded and the aircraft continued to Ibiza.”</p> <p>Despite the incident, the Foster family eventually made it to Ibiza the next day, just in time for the wedding, after catching a RyanAir flight out of Dublin. </p> <p>“Thankfully we got to Ibiza and made my brother’s wedding to say how stressed, upset, and overwhelmed I’ve been I honestly think I’ve no words,” she wrote.</p> <p>“EasyJet should be ashamed of themselves and I most definitely am taking this further, I’m still in shock of how we were treated especially being seven months pregnant and having a disabled child with us.”</p> <p><em>Images: Facebook</em></p>

Travel Trouble

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Mum shamed and denied food for bottle feeding her baby

<p>A Brisbane mother has been left feeling "devastated, guilty and enraged" after being targeted by a controversial rule after she took her baby to the emergency room. </p> <p>It was the middle of the night when Sarah Stoddart's 12-week-old daughter became extremely unwell. </p> <p>The baby, who Sarah had decided to bottle feed, was vomiting and running a temperature, prompting her worried mother to take her to the emergency department of Prince Charles Hospital in Brisbane's north. </p> <p>Things started to go wrong for Sarah when she was handed a "welcome sheet" after arriving at the hospital.</p> <p>"They had circled and brought to my attention that only breastfeeding mothers were entitled to meals," she <a href="https://www.9news.com.au/national/queensland-mum-denied-food-at-hospital-for-not-breastfeeding-child/f8ea2db9-b448-4ce8-8dfb-6e65657cc5ab" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener" data-i13n="cpos:5;pos:1" data-ylk="slk:told Nine News;cpos:5;pos:1;elm:context_link;itc:0" data-rapid_p="12" data-v9y="1">told <em>Nine News</em></a>.</p> <p>"First of all [it] made me feel devastated and guilty but then quite enraged, that is a decision that is being made in this country and this state in 2023."</p> <p>Furious, Ms Stoddart claims staff eventually told her that they could "make an exception" and would "sneak through an approval" so that she could get fed.</p> <p>According to Sarah, her partner was at home looking after the couple's other kids, and the whole ordeal left her feeling guilty over a decision that was made for the health of their child.</p> <p>She added that mothers are "already struggling with enough" in the first trimester and "don't need the judgement from the government as to how they chose to feed their child".</p> <p>After speaking out about her treatment at the hospital and raising the issue with Metro North Health, the hospital has changed their policy.</p> <p>"The Prince Charles Hospital now provides meals to parents of children six months and under who are admitted into our care," Prince Charles Hospital said in a statement.</p> <p>"Parents of all patients admitted to the Paediatric Ward at The Prince Charles Hospital have access to food, water, tea and coffee. Further paid options, including fresh food vending machines, cafes and a stocked fridge, are accessible 24hrs a day."</p> <p>Queensland's Health Minister Shannon Fentiman she would work with other hospitals across the state to ensure a similar scenario does not occur again.</p> <p>"It shouldn't really matter whether you are breastfeeding or not, it should be about trying to make our parents who are doing the best they can to look after their sick kids as comfortable as possible," she said.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Nine News</em></p>

Caring

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Miley Cyrus' mum marries Aussie Prison Break actor

<p>Prison Break actor Dominic Purcell and Tish Cyrus have tied the knot in an intimate Malibu wedding.</p> <p>The wedding was held by a pool in the backyard of a Malibu mansion with floral decorations and a few stars in attendance, including Tish's pop star daughter Miley Cyrus, cricket star David Warner and his wife Candice Warner. </p> <p>Miley, was reported to be the Maid of Honour and her siblings Trace, 34, and Brandi, 36, were also reportedly at the wedding. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CwLtHGwBPHK/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CwLtHGwBPHK/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Mrs Candice Warner (@candywarner1)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>"Oh what a night!!! Congratulations @dominicpurcell &amp; @tishcyrus on the most magical wedding. We love you," Candice wrote, with a series of images from the wedding. </p> <p>In a few <a href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-12425597/Miley-Cyrus-Maid-Honor-Singer-looks-mom-Tish-marries-Prison-Break-star-Dominic-Purcell-Malibu-one-year-whirlwind-romance-shock-divorce-Billy-Ray-Cyrus.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">aerial photos</a> from the wedding, Tish can be spotted donning a simple strapless A-line wedding dress and veil. Her two daughters and a few other bridesmaids matched the look with a light grey dress and white bouquet. </p> <p>The wedding comes just four months after Tish and Dominic got engaged. </p> <p>This is Tish's third marriage and Dominic's second marriage.</p> <p>Tish was previously married to Baxter Neal Helson from 1986 - 1989, who she shares  children Brandi and Trace with.</p> <p>From 1993 - 2021 she was married to singer Billy Ray Cyrus and shares Miley, Braison, and Noah with him. </p> <p>Dominic was previously married to Rebecca Williamson, who he shares four children with.</p> <p>The couple announced their engagement to Instagram back in May, with the caption:  "A thousand times... YES @dominicpurcell."</p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

Relationships

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Naomi Osaka is a mum!

<p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">Unstoppable tennis sensation Naomi Osaka has traded in her racquet for diapers as she embraces her newest title: mum!</span></p> <p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">The 25-year-old four-time Grand Slam champion and her rapper beau, Cordae, are the proud parents of a bouncing baby girl in sunny Los Angeles.</span></p> <p>According to a <a href="https://people.com/naomi-osaka-boyfriend-cordae-welcome-first-baby-daughter-exclusive-7504607" target="_blank" rel="noopener">top-secret source</a>, Osaka and her precious little one are doing swimmingly well. The dynamic duo is already acing the game of parenthood, proving that they're champions both on and off the court.</p> <p>This adorable bundle of joy is Osaka and Cordae's first little smasher. The Instagram world went wild when the couple dropped the baby bombshell back in January. Osaka, being the queen of surprises, unveiled the gender of their tiny teammate at a whimsical princess-themed baby shower. It was an "aww"-inducing moment, for sure.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Cs_l_uVLU8X/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Cs_l_uVLU8X/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by 大坂なおみ🇭🇹🇯🇵 (@naomiosaka)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>As for the name game, Osaka and Cordae aren't interested in playing by the rules. They're going for something unique and out-of-the-box, perhaps even as unconventional as Osaka's wicked backhand. </p> <p>Throughout her pregnancy, Osaka anticipated some wild cravings. But to her surprise, her tastebuds remained pretty chill. No cravings for pickles and ice cream, or bizarre food combinations. Just your typical, run-of-the-mill snacks for this tennis superstar-turned-mum-extraordinaire.</p> <p>Osaka has also expressed her desire to be the ultimate role model for her little champ, striving to be the kind of person her son or daughter can brag about. No pressure, Naomi; we're sure you'll ace the parenting game just like you do on the court.)</p> <p>When Osaka made the big announcement on Instagram, she did it with style. In a carousel of photos, she unveiled an ultrasound screen capturing the first glimpse of her future tennis prodigy. But it wasn't just about the picture; she had a heartfelt message to share with her fans.</p> <p>She reflected on the rollercoaster ride of the past few years and how challenges have shaped her into the fierce competitor she is today. Life's too short to take for granted, and every moment is a precious blessing. Osaka can't wait for her little one to witness her dominating matches and proudly declare, "That's my mum!" </p> <p>Osaka also has her sights set on the court once again. She's determined to swing back into action after welcoming her baby girl. In her own words, 2023 will be a year of lessons and growth, with Osaka aiming to make her comeback at the Aus Open in 2024. </p> <p>So, let's all join in a round of applause for the newest tennis mum in town. Naomi Osaka has served up an ace in life's game, and we can't wait to watch her dominate both on and off the court. Congratulations, Naomi and Cordae, on your adorable little match point!</p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Here’s why you need to go for a walk every single day

<p><strong>The benefits of walking every day </strong></p> <p>Twenty summers ago, Nancy Duguay stood at the side of a soccer pitch in watching her 11-year-old son sprint back and forth, and wished she had a cigarette.</p> <p>Duguay, then 39 and a cardiac-rehab nurse, was trying to quit smoking after having the habit for more than half her life. She’d sneaked her first cigarettes from her parents’ packs as a teen and hadn’t stopped since. With her hands empty as she waited for her son’s practice to end, the urge for a puff gnawed at her.</p> <p>Behind the field, the heavily forested Sugarloaf Mountain stood guard. As a kid, Duguay and her friends regularly hiked the mountain and picnicked on its peak.</p> <p>Then an idea struck her: walking instead of smoking. She told another parent that she would be back in time to pick up her son and then set off for the mountain. “In just my regular sneakers, a pair of shorts and a T-shirt,” she remembers.</p> <p>Duguay’s heart pounded as she climbed, and she stopped often to rest. When she arrived at the top, she took in the view that sweeps over the city and across the river to the rolling hills of the Gaspé Peninsula.</p> <p>“I just felt so good,” says Duguay. “My natural endorphins kicked in, and the craving was gone.”</p> <p>Almost every day since, she has gone for a walk – and the habit has changed her life. Not only did she quit smoking, but her resting heart rate dropped from 80 beats per minute to 60. The ritual has given her a lot more, as well: stress relief, mental-health management, and a sense of community.</p> <p>“There’s a psychological and physical need to do it now,” she says. “I want to keep healthy and keep moving.” Keep reading to discover more incredible health benefits of walking every day.</p> <p><strong>It's good for your body</strong></p> <p>A growing body of research confirms what Duguay discovered: there are enormous benefits in walking every day. According to a report from the Canadian Academy of Sport and Exercise Medicine, walking for 150 minutes a week can reduce the risk of most major chronic diseases by 25 to 50 per cent. In fact, light to moderate exercise has been found to be more effective than medication during rehabilitation after a stroke. For prevention of diabetes and as a secondary treatment of heart disease, walking is equally as effective as taking drugs.</p> <p>In 2019, a Journal of Clinical Oncology study reported that a small amount of physical activity – such as taking a brisk walk for 20 minutes or more a day – is linked to a lower risk of seven types of cancer. Meanwhile, more walking means better sleep, too. In a recent study of middle-aged men and women, the participants who took more steps during the day slept better at night.</p> <p>“We need to start thinking about walking as a healthy activity,” advises Dr Jane Thornton, a family physician in London, Ontario. She advocates for the idea that we consider physical activity as medicine – a philosophy that grew out of personal experience. Thornton was a shy, sedentary 14-year-old when she signed up for a beginner’s rowing class in Fredericton. While her physical fitness improved, a new social circle opened to her and her grades went up. Thornton went on to become a world-champion rower and represented Canada at the 2008 Olympics.</p> <p>A few years after competing in the Olympics and shortly before retiring from sport, she enrolled in medical school. She was surprised by the lack of information provided to physicians-in-training about the benefits of exercise. “For whatever reason, there just wasn’t any content at all on physical activity,” she says.</p> <p>In 2014, Thornton started working on a campaign with the Canadian Academy of Sport and Exercise Medicine to get doctors to prescribe physical activity for patients – including walking. “I don’t think it’s a panacea for everybody, but it is one of the easiest, best solutions we have at our disposal,” she says.</p> <p>One significant reason that walking is so good for us is fairly straightforward: when we move, our hearts work harder to transport blood to the working muscles and organs. That repeated effort strengthens the heart muscle, making it pump more efficiently at all times, sending blood around the body with fewer beats per minute. Exercise also improves the function of blood vessels, with one analysis reporting that aerobic exercise can improve our vascular health.</p> <p>Walking helps build other muscles, too, especially in the lower body, and improves balance and strength. Physiotherapists like to say “Motion is lotion.” When our bodies don’t move enough, they stiffen. Ligaments, tendons and muscles tighten when they’re not used, causing pain in joints. For back pain, especially, movement can help. When we walk, we activate the muscles that run along the spine, strengthening them. “Pain and function improve just by putting those muscles into play,” Thornton says.</p> <p>Hospitals have also begun to embrace the value of walking. At Mount Sinai in Toronto, older patients weren’t always encouraged to get up from bed because of the risk of falling. About ten years ago, that changed. Assisted by doctors, nurses and volunteers, patients are now prompted to walk to the bathroom, explore the hallways and get out of bed to eat their meals.</p> <p>Since that change, fewer patients require catheters and suffer pressure ulcers. On average, they spend less time in the hospital. “Every day that an older person is in bed, they lose five per cent of their physical functioning,” says Dr Samir Sinha, Mount Sinai Hospital’s director of geriatrics. “So getting them up and walking can reduce the chance that grandma might not be able to return home.”</p> <p><strong>It's good for your mental health </strong></p> <p>One of the most important benefits of walking every day is that it’s equally beneficial for our mental health. For Duguay, walking helped her through some of the toughest periods in her life. When her mother died of cancer, Duguay turned to the mountain to walk through her pain. “I would cry all the way up the mountain,” she remembers. In this way, walking became her antidepressant.</p> <p>According to a 2019 study led by researchers at Harvard University, people with a genetic risk for depression are less likely to struggle with the condition if they exercise – even performing light physical activity like walking.</p> <p>Walking also reduces the risk of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. In 2019, the World Health Organization released new guidelines on dementia prevention, and its top recommendation was to get more exercise.</p> <p>“We’ve always known that exercise is good for your heart, but we’re now making a connection between exercise and cognitive improvements,” said Dr Saskia Sivananthan, chief research &amp; knowledge, translation and exchange officer at the Alzheimer Society of Canada.</p> <p>Although that link isn’t yet fully understood, Sivananthan says there are a number of possible explanations: increased blood flow to the brain increases the organ’s cell growth; physical activity stimulates certain hormones that improve well-being and may reduce brain-matter loss linked to cognitive function; and walking might also reduce inflammation in the brain.</p> <p>Meanwhile, one study from McMaster University has shown that aerobic activity that incorporates intervals of higher-intensity exertion improves memory function. According to Dr Jennifer Heisz, who worked on the research, walking promotes production of a protein, BDNF, that spurs growth of new brain cells. These cells help us create high-fidelity memories – “the type we need every day to locate our car in a busy parking lot and recognise a friend in a crowd,” she said.</p> <p><strong>It's good for your social life</strong></p> <p>Jim Button, a 56-year-old entrepreneur, was diagnosed with kidney cancer in 2014. He underwent successful surgery but, less than two years later, he learned that his cancer was back, had spread and was terminal.</p> <p>Button knew that exercise would help keep him as healthy as possible. He started walking five kilometres a day. Before his diagnosis, he’d meet with business contacts and friends at coffee shops. Now he asks them to join him on a walk. Every day over the last three years that his health has allowed, Button has gone for a walk, all the while expanding the range of his walking partners – he regularly strolls with strangers who reach out to him seeking business advice, or people recently diagnosed with cancer and other illnesses.</p> <p>“I’ve discovered that not a lot of people go for walks,” Button says. “And when they do, it opens up their mind to be a bit more honest about whatever challenge they would like to talk about.” On some walks, he says, conversation never slows. On others, little is said but much is shared, even silently.</p> <p>Inspired by Button’s strolls, Dr Lisa Bélanger – founder of Knight’s Cabin, a Canadian charity for cancer survivors and their supporters – helped found an initiative in Calgary called Walk It Out. The program is like other peer support groups, but participants walk outside while they share their experiences with the disease. “More than in a sit-down, face-to-face meeting, walking seems to allow a conversation to flow naturally,” she says.</p> <p>Bélanger, who is an expert in behavioural medicine, adds that walking has the power to undo negative thought patterns. “If you’re thinking about a problem and you go for a walk, the activity in your brain changes, and you learn and think better,” she says.</p> <p>Like Button, Nancy Duguay has corralled her community around her daily walks. The more she walked, the more people around her saw the benefits and started doing it, too. Her husband, Roger, began to accompany her on hikes on their holidays. And about seven years after Duguay’s first walk up a nearby mountain, her sister decided to try it. Now she, too, takes a walk every day, and they often go together. A small community of walkers has formed around them.</p> <p>“We’ll meet people coming down and say, ‘This was a tough one today. It was really slippery, but boy, you know, it’s worth it.’”</p> <p><strong>Put your best food forwards</strong></p> <p>To experience all the benefits of walking every day, treat it like a workout, says personal-fitness trainer Korey Samuelson:</p> <p>Walk with an upright posture, your head held straight, not looking up or down. Keep your gaze about five metres ahead.</p> <p>To move faster, put more bend in your elbows.</p> <p>Swing your arms forwards and back; moving them across the body isn’t efficient. “Just like sprinting, arm movement is important for strong walking,” says Samuelson.</p> <p>When your lead foot lands on the ground, roll from heel to toe. Your footwear should be pliable enough to allow the natural movement across your foot.</p> <p>To speed up, increase your strides per minute rather than elongating your strides. More steps per minute means you’ll travel further, faster.</p> <p>Use Nordic walking poles to increase your heart rate and burn more calories.</p> <p>Intersperse intervals of brisk walking with periods at a slower pace.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/healthsmart/heres-why-you-need-to-go-for-a-walk-every-single-day" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Body

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Readers respond: What did your mum or dad make for dinner growing up that you haven't had in ages?

<p>Sometimes love and affection comes in the form of food, especially when it’s made by our parents.</p> <p>As we grow older and start our own lives we begin to miss the things we got used to as we grow up, especially the food our parents made. </p> <p>Here are some dishes our Over60 readers grew up with that they miss dearly. </p> <p><strong>Keralie Stack </strong>- Mums apple pie, lemon meringue pie. Beautiful meat and kidney pies. Roasted meat in winter cooked in the fuel stove , along with a big pot of pea and ham soup in winter, followed with damper and scones for dinner</p> <p><strong>Peter Lord</strong> - Mums meat and potato pie! I’ve made it and it’s not bad but it’s nowhere near as good as mum’s!</p> <p><strong>Lee Pavey</strong> - A big roast dinner with roast veges &amp; gravy made with the juices of the meat. </p> <p><strong>Jenny Yaun</strong> - In my young 8 years old Living in Indonesia I loved Mum's Nasi Goreng made with tin corn beef, I still make now and again. I'm Dutch/Australian</p> <p><strong>Marie Manson </strong>- Dads fabulous vege soup..</p> <p><strong>Dawn Holmes</strong> - Triple and onions!!! Can't say I miss it but they liked it!! But then mum was a great home cook with her baked goods and tasty soups and stews!!</p> <p><strong>Jennifer Sabatino</strong> - Shepherd’s Pie made with leftover lamb from the Sunday roast and apple sponge (apples with the sponge baked on top), baked custard, baked rice custard and bread &amp; butter pudding.</p> <p><strong>Kathy Bloor</strong> - Mince on toast. I have never made it for myself and I am 70</p> <p><strong>Keith Carter</strong> - I haven't had PLOT TOFFEE FOR 65 years. Just got the recipe from my 86 yo sister. So now thats the go.</p> <p><strong>Lorna Turner Prunes</strong> - and custard. I still cook all the foods my mum and dad cooked except for prunes and custard.</p>

Food & Wine

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Mum who gave birth during coma finally wakes

<p>A woman from the US has woken up from a coma to discover her baby had been born. </p> <p>Jackie Miller James, a 35-year-old beauty and lifestyle influencer, was found found unresponsive by her husband in June, after she suffered a brain aneurysm while heavily pregnant. </p> <p>Jackie fell into a coma following the traumatic event, with her sister posting a fundraiser to help her family through the difficult time. </p> <p>“We are deeply saddened to share that our sister, Jacqueline (Jackie), was nine months pregnant and one week from her due date, when she suffered an aneurysm rupture, leading to severe brain bleeding and injury,” she wrote. </p> <p>“Jackie was found immediately by her husband, Austin, and was rushed to the emergency room and into an operation where they performed an emergency C-section and brain surgery simultaneously.”</p> <p>In a heart-warming update, Jackie's family has confirmed that she is awake and has has an emotional reunion with her baby girl.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CuNV3eDJP3-/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CuNV3eDJP3-/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Jackie Miller James (@jaxandrose)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The family shared that Jackie's recovery is exceeding expectations, with medical professionals pleased with her most recent tests. </p> <p>“The doctors have been pleased upon her latest tests, numbers and evaluations, noting that Jackie is performing above expectations at this stage of her recovery and is progressing more with every passing day,” the post read.</p> <p>“Jackie and Austin’s baby girl is a constant source of light for the entire family and continues to grow into a happy, healthy, and animated little angel."</p> <p>“Despite James’s delicate state of health, her daughter was delivered safely, spending 12 days in the NICU before going home.”</p> <p>Since Jackie's incident, a <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-jackies-long-road-to-recovery" target="_blank" rel="noopener">GoFundMe</a> campaign to support her and her family has amassed an incredible $500,000, as the funds will be allocated to cover the costs of Ms James’ speech therapy, physical therapy, necessary home modifications, and alternative therapies to address any lasting impairments she may face.</p> <p>Jackie's family thanked those who have donated for their support, writing, "The resources raised from the GoFundMe will allow us to continue to give Jackie the very best care and every chance at recovery. We are so appreciative of your donations, every little bit continues to help.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: GoFundMe</em></p>

Family & Pets

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"A night in hospital and a trip to the burns unit later”: Concerned mum's warning against popular fruit

<p><em><strong>Warning: This article contains images that some readers may find distressing.</strong></em></p> <p>An Aussie mum has taken to the internet and shared photos of her son’s severe burns that came as a result of him playing with a popular fruit. “A night in hospital and a trip to the burns unit later.” She began in her Facebook post.</p> <p>Her son Otis was playing happily outside with a lime in the sunshine, but the next day horror ensued.</p> <p>“It wasn’t until the next day that we noticed a rash appeared.” The mother said.</p> <p>The parents had assumed the rash must’ve been an allergic reaction to the lime juice, however, the rash quickly developed into a “horrific burn,” she added.</p> <p>The parents took Otis to the hospital where they were informed their son was suffering from a condition called phytophotodermatitis.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Cku5QH2thxE/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Cku5QH2thxE/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Tiny Hearts (@tinyheartseducation)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Phytophotodermatitis, more commonly known as margarita burn, is a little-known condition which causes burns to the skin when a chemical called furocoumarin reacts to sunlight.</p> <p>The chemical is found in limes, citrus fruit and some plants.</p> <p>“The small lime he had been innocently playing with - had now burnt his skin horrifically!“ The mum said. “If our story can help raise awareness into phytophotodermatitis at least something good has come out of our horrific experience!”</p> <p>The woman has urged parents to be on the lookout for this little-known skin condition.</p> <p>To minimise the risks of phytophotodermatitis, <a href="https://www.healthline.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Healthline</a> suggests washing hands and other exposed parts of the skin immediately after being outdoors, wearing gloves when gardening, putting on sunscreen before going outdoors and wearing long-sleeved tops and pants in wooded areas.</p> <p>Photo credit: Getty</p>

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Mum sparks fury for admitting to tanning newborn

<p>A young mother split the internet in half when she shared the shocking news on social media that she was self-tanning her four-month-old son. </p> <p>In a clip posted to her TikTok, the 21-year-old could be seen holding her baby, with the text “when everyone is telling me to stop self-tanning my baby but the loving tan employees have families to feed” across the screen.</p> <p>The video hit viral heights, gaining over 1 million views along with its varied - and passionate - response. </p> <p>Many were quick to voice their outrage at the young mum and her “selfish” move, calling into question the health risks that such a tanning process might pose to Kylen Suttner’s son, Suede. </p> <p>“Gosh, those chemicals can hurt a little one's skin,” one dismayed user wrote. “Their skin is so sensitive when they're babies.”</p> <p>“Disgusting!” another declared. “So horrible.”</p> <p>One was concerned that Suede was going to “grow up thinking he isn’t good enough naturally, especially to the one person who would love him unconditionally”.</p> <p>“Why does a baby need a fake tan... so unnecessary,” someone else said. </p> <p>Meanwhile, another just wanted to know “is this a joke, I can't tell?"</p> <div><iframe title="tiktok embed" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2Fembed%2Fv2%2F7206061715535105326&display_name=tiktok&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40kylensuttner%2Fvideo%2F7206061715535105326&image=https%3A%2F%2Fp16-sign.tiktokcdn-us.com%2Fobj%2Ftos-useast5-p-0068-tx%2F87e23b7fac564434b6df488f764e493f%3Fx-expires%3D1684490400%26x-signature%3DdBQQZLY5FaqakQuevOWiYIisLiM%253D&key=59e3ae3acaa649a5a98672932445e203&type=text%2Fhtml&schema=tiktok" width="340" height="700" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div> <p>Others seemed of the opinion that it was, with some even replying to similar questioning comments to share that the baby reportedly had jaundice, and this was his mother’s way of making light of the situation. </p> <p>And it turns out that that was exactly the case. </p> <p>As criticism continued online, heating up as the story blew up across news outlets, Kylen made the confirmation with The Post that it had all been a joke. </p> <p>“He had jaundice and looked really tan when he was born,” she explained to the outlet. “Everyone commented on his colour, so I decided to make a joke about it. </p> <p>“I would never actually use self tanner on my baby.</p> <p>“I feel like most people understood it was a joke. But the few who didn’t were appalled that I would self tan my baby.”</p> <p>For those who understood the truth of the situation, it was an opportunity to get in on the fun with Kylen, with many making the announcement that this would be “me as a mum” too. </p> <p>“I love this,” one said. “I wish I had his skin colour.”</p> <p>“You gotta keep the tan up,” came one joke, referencing a popular Family Guy meme, “it’s a lifestyle Brian”.</p> <p>“So funny to me that people think you’re being Fr [for real],” another shared.</p> <p><em>Images: TikTok</em></p>

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How one brave mum is shedding light on postnatal depression through the healing power of music

<p dir="ltr"><em><strong>Warning: This article contains sensitive content which some readers may find distressing.</strong></em></p> <p dir="ltr">It’s no secret that having a baby changes your life in every way. From sleepless nights and feeding routines, to nappy changes and seemingly endless crying, starting a family is, put simply, a life-altering experience. </p> <p dir="ltr">And while the early days of having a newborn can bring love and chaos in equal parts, for some, the days, weeks and months after giving birth can welcome a whole new set of challenges.</p> <p dir="ltr">While most parents are privy to the “baby blues” and a rough day here and there, those struggling with postnatal depression can often be overlooked. </p> <p dir="ltr">Postnatal depression is common, with one in five mums, and one in 10 dads, experiencing postnatal depression symptoms after their baby is born.</p> <p dir="ltr">For Lija (pronounced Le-ah), postnatal depression completely changed her life. </p> <p dir="ltr">Lija, a music teacher from the Central Coast of New South Wales, welcomed her first child, a beautiful daughter named Harper, into the world at the end of 2017. </p> <p dir="ltr">When Lija discovered she was going to become a mum, she was overcome with fear. </p> <p dir="ltr">Lija spoke exclusively with <em>OverSixty</em> about her journey with postnatal depression, and how her feelings of anxiety began as soon as she fell pregnant. </p> <p dir="ltr">“There was this lie in my head that I could not give birth… That I would die. You feel like you can’t make a way through it and you’re predicting all these complications. [Lija’s friends’ traumatic birth experience] confirmed all these feelings and i just thought ‘Maybe you die from this’.”</p> <p dir="ltr">As soon as Lija and her husband began to celebrate the news of their growing family, she quickly began to “spiral” into self-doubt and depressive episodes. </p> <p dir="ltr">“When I found out I was pregnant, it was a spiral. I didn’t think I was good enough, I was crying so much… I didn’t feel like I could tell anyone because I was so gripped in fear.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“It took me about seven months to accept that I was having a kid.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Over the course of her pregnancy, Lija’s mental health continued to plummet with her feelings of fear and self-doubt, which led her down an even darker path. </p> <p dir="ltr">“The worst part was I was suicidal. There were moments where I wanted to end my life because I just felt like my time was up.”</p> <p dir="ltr">These feelings of helplessness led Lija to reach out to a counsellor, who helped manage her mental health symptoms for the rest of her pregnancy and introduced her to hypnobirthing.</p> <p dir="ltr">Her sessions with a hypnobirthing specialist gave Lija the boost she needed to be in tune with her body, and get her through to Harper’s birth with a sense of confidence. </p> <p dir="ltr">“If I’ve grown a baby, I can give birth to a baby. It was all just focus.”</p> <p dir="ltr">When Harper was born, Lija remembers healthcare professionals warning her husband that her mental health could decline, but she was never spoken to directly.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Apparently nurses were talking to my husband after the birth saying ‘She’s going to be prone to postnatal depression, you need to watch her’, but no one told me I was going to be so lonely.” </p> <p dir="ltr">“I was so focused on the birth going well that I hadn’t thought about what happens after, and I didn’t know what postnatal depression was.”</p> <p dir="ltr">When Lija and her husband brought baby Harper home, as they encountered perfectly common issues around sleep and breastfeeding, Lija thought she had failed as a first-time mum.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I felt like I failed as a mum because I couldn't give Harper everything she needed. And that started all these terrible thoughts and I just started to mentally spiral down again. But I didn’t know for about six months that I had postnatal depression.”</p> <p dir="ltr">During the first few months of Harper’s life, Lija began to find simple day-to-day tasks very difficult. </p> <p dir="ltr">“My poor husband… I was a psycho. It began when I said no one was allowed to come over because I was constantly in my pyjamas and I felt ashamed that my house wasn’t clean.”  </p> <p dir="ltr">Lija shared that as she began to settle into the reality of being a mum, Harper’s needs always came first. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I was just in such a routine. I needed to have my baby follow a good structure, which meant my mental health took a backseat. So I just kept spiralling and spiralling.”</p> <p dir="ltr">As Lija tried to better herself, she quickly found out that comparing yourself to other new parents is a slippery slope that welcomes thoughts of self-doubt. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I tried to go to a mum’s club and they all seemed so perfect. I feel like they weren’t real. It was like Instagram mums. So to try and look good, I was spending all this money to try and keep up appearances.”</p> <p dir="ltr">As Lija’s mental health continued to suffer, she said it wasn’t until a difficult conversation with her husband that she realised she needed professional help. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I wasn’t being the normal me. There was no joy, there was no laughter, and I felt like I failed as a mother and as a wife. So my husband said ‘I’ve booked you in for a therapy session’, and that was the start of it.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“I wanted to be better for Harper. I wanted to be a good mum for her. So I had to start working on myself.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Now, five years on, Lija is reflecting on her experience with postnatal depression in the best way she knows how: through her music. </p> <p dir="ltr">Lija’s debut single <em>Save Me</em> details her journey of becoming a mum and bettering herself, while painting an honest portrait of the first months of motherhood. </p> <p><iframe title="YouTube video player" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/tmHTlybb-rM" width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p> <p dir="ltr">After being a musician for most of her life, Lija’s passion took a backseat when she became a mother. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I started to miss my music, because I've done music my whole life. It was so hard to walk past my studio and see the guitar going to waste. I started to miss the other half of me as a musician.”</p> <p dir="ltr">After working on <em>Save Me</em> for several years, Lija believes it is the right time to put her story out there in order to help and inspire other parents struggling with postnatal depression.</p> <p dir="ltr">“It’s okay to be vulnerable. Be real, because you can help others with your honesty.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“It’s also important to remember that babies aren’t going to remember the best outfits they were in, or if they had the best pram. They're going to remember if they were loved or not.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Lija has long been a champion of music and its healing power, which became a saviour in her darkest times through her postnatal depression journey.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I went back to teaching music three months after having Harper. I worked one day a week and these kids and teenagers that were singing to me were actually healing me with their music and their talent.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“Music is something I have always turned to. It has always spoken to me, and I thought if I write a song about my journey, that could heal me too. I thought ‘It’s time to kick fear in the butt and write about life’.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Musical talent is something that runs in the family, with Harper’s singing talents already at “the next level”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I swear she came out singing! Her ability to hear pitch is insane. In lockdown, she would be singing scales while I was teaching music classes over Zoom. She is just so joyous, and she is like my healing.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Lija’s debut single <em>Save Me</em> is out on now.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Don't go it alone. Please reach out for help.</strong></p> <p dir="ltr"><strong><em>Lifeline: 13 11 14 or <a href="http://lifeline.org.au/">lifeline.org.au</a></em></strong></p> <p dir="ltr"><strong><em>Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 or <a href="http://beyondblue.org.au/">beyondblue.org.au</a></em></strong></p> <p dir="ltr"><strong><em>Headspace: 1800 650 890 or <a href="http://headspace.org.au/">headspace.org.au</a></em></strong></p> <p dir="ltr"><strong><em>PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety &amp; Depression Australia): 1300 726 306 or <a href="https://panda.org.au/">panda.org.au</a></em></strong></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Instagram</em></p>

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